March 9 2010 Overlay, Trades, and Commentary

This is a tough post as I have been stalling all night. Something interesting has happened in the past few hours.

I was thinking about not posting because I did not want to be too negative about my trading.

I have been winning the game over the past few weeks but the edge is not close to what I feel I am capable of. I know I can do much better.

I spent most of the day being very angry. I always enjoy trading regardless of how hard it gets. The anger was directed at myself for not capitalizing on the action the past few days.

Yes I said action. While I have been complaining daily about the grind, I have been doing some of the best reading and executing of my career.

The management has been total crap but the reads and execution has been spot on. I have even been detailing specifically the way the market is likely to act in certain scenarios and then seeing it happen as I had premised.

I have posted a very compelling chart tonight. It is a high time frame of all my executions since Thursday of last week.

It is partially embarrassing but also shows some extreme skill and discipline in a tough market. The management is the embarrassing part obviously.

I bought close to the low of the day each day just after the open while avoiding the chop sandwiched in between the execution days.

I also did not start fading myself as many do out of frustration after scratching all 3 big winners for no good reason other than I did not like the pace or risk relative to my entry position.

I can only describe this sequence as cowardly.

The anger came about when I looked at this compelling chart and saw the placement of my trades relative to what happened.

I spent the whole day and evening repeatedly asking myself what the problem is and why am I not managing these properly.

I had tons of blog material in my head about how ridiculous the chart looked and had plenty of bad things to say.

Then I blew the chart up on the really large monitor to mark it up and had some clarity. The anger went away and was replaced by confidence.

The fact is that according to my plan, the premise, read, direction, and execution was perfect. I am not going to go into details but all 3 of these trades had the exact same complex pattern entry (complex meaning multiple layers of confirmation).

Seeing the trades from 4 days laid out as these are made me realize that there is absolutely no randomness to my executions.

Having 3 trades over 4 days is inviting randomness but it is not occurring. My trading is the opposite of random.

The fact is that I am so consistent in my trading that I am mismanaging my winners with extreme accuracy.

I am doing the same thing over and over again. Regardless of the setup or scenario.

Realizing this and trusting it will get me half way to where I need to be.

I have a sense of clarity because I am seeing this issue in a whole new light and am ready to do something about it.

I am ready to make a significant change in my trade management. Not some changes. Just a change.

This is not a technical issue. I think I am 99% of the way there. The other 1% is going to be tough.

It will require applying trust, confidence, and feel to my trade management after execution. This is a tall order and will require work.

The clarity is that I need to start on this tomorrow and not look back.